I've been feeling an extra dose of anxiety lately... always a sign to check in with myself. To the deep inside part of me. To the spirit in me. Prolonged periods of anxiety usually signal to me that I am in my head too much... too ME-focused in a "little me" kind of way. That it is ALL up to "little me" to make things happen.
So... I was going through yet more boxes still in storage since our move to the country two years ago (!) and came across a notebook from one of my first official "spiritual" classes nearly a decade ago... when I truly, consciously, intentionally committed to my spiritual path. There was a page on Grace that caught my attention. I really love the word "Grace".... just saying that word puts me more at ease and I can feel the literal pain in my neck and shoulders start to dissipate.
Anyway, reading the notes, I was reminded of the power of Grace... a power I've perhaps been neglecting lately. "Grace is the absolute highest form of luck, yet we don't create it", my notes said. "We recognize it and appreciate it rather than create it. It's always there, but we don't always allow it. Grace is listening for us to tune into it."
So maybe, when I heard "you are too strong", it was a gentle whisper from Grace saying "I am here... don't forget about me. Lean into me. Believe in me. There is weakness in your strength and strength in your weakness. Crack the window just a bit and let me in..."
And then the tears came... realizing how hard I can be on myself. Can you relate? :-) So much judgment... and worry. And fear. All the while creating more judgment and worry and fear. Sigh.
This is when I am so grateful for spiritual awareness... and more importantly, spiritual practice. Recognizing what's going on and allowing the spiritual principles and laws to do their thing.
Two and a half years ago I reduced my overhead, quit my "day job" and stepped into full-time self-employment... following my passion to bring love and healing to the world one song at a time. And what a journey it's been, really. :-) I have been blessed with opportunities to share my music and earn enough income to support my (materially) simplified lifestyle, staying open to growth and expansion as I strive to add value with my gifts and talents. But here's the thing about self-employment: it has the word SELF in it. This is both exciting and liberating... AND can feel like... well... pressure. As in, my livelihood is ALL up to ME. Maybe I should start calling it Spirit-employed or LOVE-employed instead... even just to myself... to shift the energy. The SELF isn't really the employer anyway, in a spiritual sense... just the vehicle. There. Feeling better already. :-)
The next morning, after hearing Grace's whisper, I was sitting in meditation and quiet reflection and was led to the book "This Thing Called You" by Ernest Holmes. I randomly (yeah, right) ;-) opened to this:
"If you wish to know the truth about your business or your profession, know that it is an activity of GOOD. It is an activity of your partnership with the Infinite. The business of life is to be happy, active, and whole; to express the Divine Life with joy and in fulfillment".
And here is the clincher:
"Lift the load of personal responsibility by transferring it to the Law of Perfect Action. No matter what confronts you, what obstructions appear, or what undesirable situations exist in your experience, this Law can dissolve them".
I love the way this is worded because it's not about just giving it all to Spirit and sitting around waiting for things to happen. It's giving it to the Law of Perfect ACTION... and taking action myself as I am guided to. Grace (not luck) is when preparation meets opportunity. It's recognizing and trusting in the law and power of the Universe. That is spiritual practice.
Love does provide. In the way that Love sees fit. When there is doubt (or if you forget... which is usually the case for me), here is a powerful affirmation from Ernest Holmes:
Spirit never rejects me.
I accept myself.
I know that I am one with all the good there is.
I am one with all the power there is.
I am one with all the peace there is.
There is nothing in me that can judge or be judged.
And one from Florence Scovel Shinn:
My supply is endless, inexhaustible, and immediate and comes to me under grace in perfect ways.
Ahhhhhh. Can you just feel the tension melting away? Just in time to enJOY this season of magic and miracles! <3
I'm going to leave you here with a LIVE version (with choir!) of "Love Will Provide" from my new EP. Take it in, sing along, let it fill you and "lift you up into a higher vibration".
Namaste, friends... Peace and Blessings to you always!