This has been quite a week of celebrating... first my birthday, then Thanksgiving, and then Eric's daughter River's  birthday. I have come to realize that any celebration is a celebration of LIFE... being grateful for the gift of life and all that it holds. I have also realized that trying to be a mature, responsible adult (ahem) can sometimes mess things up. ;-) So yesterday, in honor of River's 9th birthday, I declared it "Getting in Touch with the Inner 9-year-old Day". I put my hair in braided pigtails and decided to surrender the day to the whims of my 9-year-old self.

First, we got down on the floor and worked on River's school project. As I was helping to sculpt a giraffe out of clay, we giggled about silly things... like whether we should make the giraffe a boy or a girl... and then deciding not to because, according to Miss River, "it might give the immature boys in my class something to laugh at". ;-) Next, we moved on to Hotwheels (yes, Hotwheels!), creating a loop-de-loop track, gleeful every time the little car would complete a run. Ah, the joy of simple goals and successes! As family gathered for her birthday celebration, we spontaneously decided to blast some thumping music, dim the lights, and dance around, carefree and wild like the 9-year-olds we were. Pizza and brownie sundaes followed and then the evening was topped off by a rousing, playful, silly game of "Headbanz" (one of her gifts), where we had to act out and guess words that we wore on our foreheads.

Sometimes I forget how much I love to get lost in play... completely engaged in simple fun. In helping to create this little celebration for River, it brought me back to my inner 9-year-old self. I remember loving being that age! The photo accompanying this blog is of me and my best friend at 9 years old. Playing, laughing, and having fun was so automatic.  These days, it's not quite as automatic... and I find myself struggling a bit with balance in that regard. I am not a child anymore, in the sense that I have the responsibility of taking care of myself and others, but I really value the whimsical childlike spirit that's all about being in the moment without a care in the world. It's important! And it's vital to thriving creatively and otherwise. So, in the course of day to day life, how do we surrender to that childlike spirit and still "take care of business"?

Something that comes to mind is intention. I'm not always so great at planning or hard-core structure, but I do like "intending". It comes from a deeper and more conscious place. And I think that's what really marks being a "grown up": having an intention to thrive in this world and taking action on this intention. That's being responsible in my book.

What we can learn from children is their very unintentional way of existing... just being... just playing. It reminds us to let loose once in a while, trusting that our deeper "grown-up intentions" will keep us on track. Just being clear about bigger picture intentions can free us up to enjoy the ride.

Thank you, Miss River. By celebrating your 9-year-old self, you helped me celebrate mine. And maybe... just maybe... I'll wear braided pigtails more often. :-)  
  
How do you stay in touch with your childlike spirit?

Walking holds a lot of power for me. I'm a "walker". I love to walk. A stroll, a hike, a powerwalk, a meditative walk... I love to move my body in this way. I love to be out in the fresh air taking in the sights along the way. My dad is a walker. At 84, he walks every single day.

There's something about simply putting one foot in front of the other. You don't have to think about it... you just DO it. You "keep on keepin' on" when you're a walker. I love to feel my lungs take in air and then release it... to feel my heart beating and the blood circulating to my fingers and toes... to feel my brain both stimulated and soothed by the rhythm of the pace.

Eric and I recently committed to walking first thing each morning, rain or shine. And here in the Pacific Northwest, it's pretty much rain or... rain. ;-) It's become a ritual: get up, drink warm honey lemon water, gear up and head out. We live in a really beautiful area out in the country, so it's a particularly scenic venture. We walk amidst a forest of trees, pass goats and chickens along the way, and listen as a variety of birds call out to us. Yesterday we saw the rare bald eagle not more than 20 feet away! Ah, but I digress... ;-)

Walking is also a powerful metaphor. We walk through our life... and oh, the places we go! It's becoming conscious and intentional on the journey, though, that's the real game changer. Eric's beautiful Mom gave me a book today called "Walking with God". She and I have often discussed our mutual love of the walking metaphor and what it means to us. I think James Keeley (the author of the book) sums it up nicely:

"Each step becomes a new discovery. Wonder and awe replace our ideas of where we think we are headed or what our lives should look like. Our conscious journey home begins with the intention to live a fulfilling, harmonious, and beautiful life. It is an intention we repeatedly return to. This intention brings to light anything in our lives that doesn't measure up to our heart's desires."

I wrote the song "Walk Your Life" as a message to myself, really. I was at a crossroads in my life where I had to make a decision whether to stay in a situation or leave. I wasn't in any danger (quite the contrary) nor were things "bad". Everything on the outside pointed to staying. On the inside, though, I felt otherwise. I really tore myself up over this. It was when I finally got really quiet and listened deeply that I got the message to walk my life... to trust myself and my heart... to face whatever fear was lurking and step out into the unknown. It wasn't necessarily easy, but I can say now that my heart really did know what was best. Even though there was some pain along the way, the rewards have been rich.

Are you walking your life? Are you honoring your heart's true desires? Are you loving yourself and your life in such a way that you can truly love others and shine your light? Whatever path you're on, it's YOUR path... and there is beauty, even in the trying times.  Find some supportive shoes and keep on keepin' on, my friends. It really is all about the journey.

Pursuing dreams and visions in a BIG LOVE kind of way... is not for weenies. ;-) You really have to put your whole heart in if you want to reap real rewards. There really is no way around this. And in the process, I have learned you really do have to ground yourself in Spiritual Truth because  it seems that everything unlike that which your heart desires will come flying in your face the moment you make a big, bold declaration about it. Example: I didn't blog at all last week because right after declaring how happy I was in this in this new little simple country life, it seemed everything that could go "wrong" did. From ridiculous difficulty merging my phone line with Eric's account to tense scheduling conflicts, to weird, quirky mishaps during our gig last weekend, there seemed to be a series of  "perceived failures" that created stress and discord. It was tempting to think "maybe this isn't the right path... maybe this isn't what I want".  But deep down, I knew better.

I used to be afraid to make declarations, talking about anything good happening, not wanting to "jinx" it. I used to say a lot of.... "well... whatever... we'll just wait and see... I don't want to get too excited about anything and be disappointed". This is how I was trained to behave. Here's how I've grown in that aspect. Yes, there are times when I declare how great something is and then it seems that shortly after I do that I start experiencing the opposite. But here's where spiritual awareness and being  "seasoned" makes all the difference. The way I see it now is that when we boldly declare our good OUT LOUD, the Universe wants us to experience it so fully and authentically that if there IS anything that needs to be stripped away, released, or embraced in order to have this experience, it will come up. Not to panic! :-) It doesn't necessarily mean there is something "wrong"... it means we get to notice where we are still holding onto some false belief about our good. It also is a call to notice how we harshly judge "perceived failures", rather than just seeing them as growing pains and part of the journey. And maybe they are also our ego's way of trying to sabotage, in which case we get to say, "I see you and hear you, dearest ego... I know you think you are trying to protect me somehow... but what I know  (despite the way I may feel at times) is that LOVE gets to win". When I practice staying focused on love in the face of anything showing up that doesn't look or feel like love... I find the rest does fall away and I experience even deeper joy than before.

I want to experience BIG LOVE in all aspects of life. And with this bold declaration, I accept that there is bound to be "growing pains".  And thank God! What about you? Can you allow yourself to believe that love will always prevail somehow (and maybe not always in the way you THINK it should)? Can you embrace the growing pains that might show up in the process? Love WILL provide. Always. We are love... and we are loved. I do declare. <3